


Near Impossible

by Princeton



Category: High School Story (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Boys In Love, Coming Out, Communication, Ezra is a great boyfriend and he just wants to help Julian, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Teen Angst, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:05:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princeton/pseuds/Princeton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is that why you’ve had your nose stuck in your books since the semester started?"<br/>“Yeah. I wanted to pick up my grades and really impress my parents before I went on telling them their son is,” Julian made a vague hand gesture, “You know…”<br/>“Bi?"</p><p> </p><p>Coming out is rarely ever easy.<br/>Trying to impress his parents before introducing them to his boyfriend, Ezra, Julian does everything he can to be the best son they could imagine. But what if that isn't enough? What if they don't approve even after he's worked hard to pick up his grades and get a scholarship? Then what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Near Impossible

“You’re doing it again.”

“Mm?”

“ _You’re doing it again._ ”

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”

  
“Really?” Julian put his pencil down and stopped Ezra's hands from moving further up his knee. They were in the school’s library, had been since the last bell rung and classes were dismissed. The new school year had just begun but already teachers had assigned essays and homework with due dates as near as next week. Julian had a textbook open in front of him and a spiral notebook with barely legible writing on the side. He was trying to study. Trying being the operative word because a bug by the name Ezra kept interfering and wouldn’t go away no matter how often he was swatted at.

Now, typically Julian would love to have the musician around. Ezra was decisive, funny, reliable, creative, and Julian usually anticipated with zest the boys loving gaze and fidgety fingers that would slide up his thigh between paragraphs. But on the Sunday night before classes had begun, Julian had made himself a promise. He had looked at himself straight in the mirror and sworn that this school year was the one he’d take serious. It didn’t matter whether he had been placing his efforts in passing his classes, playing football, having a social life, and maintaining a positive family relationship. Julian needed to go beyond that. He had to raise his C’s to B’s, aim for that scholarship, acknowledge he had friends, and most importantly, assure his parents he respected their opinion and guidance. He had to prove he was improving so that when he pulled the drape from over his relationship with Ezra, they wouldn’t be able to blame the musician for anything wrong in his life. Julian wanted to make it so hard for his parents to disapprove of Ezra, that any response besides a positive one would be implausible. Especially after he would say that since he’d started dating Ezra his academics had seen the light and his anger had dwindled to a simmer.

But Julian couldn’t do that with Ezra distracting him from his textbooks. Or saying, “Come on, it’s a Thursday. You can do this on the weekend,” while holding Julian’s hand and urging his boyfriend to get closer.

“Aren’t we supposed to be going on a date Saturday?” Julian argued.

“Yes.”

“Are you suggesting I cancel and stay home to work on homework?” Julian raised a brow at this. He looked at Ezra and halfheartedly chuckled when he made an exasperated expression.

“No,” he dragged.

Ezra let go of Julian's hand and he quickly went back to holding his pencil and finding his place in his textbook.

Ezra sat back in his chair and studied Julian. He let his eyes scan over his boyfriends face and chest. He noticed the creases in Julian’s shirt, his short nails, pushed back cuticles, and the tiny stain of silver on his writing hand. Ezra was trying to see if he could spot a physical difference in his boyfriend that would tell him why he was suddenly so keen on studying. He let a hot minute pass before breaking his silence. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you say no to spending time with me. Is this homework more important? Like, is it worth a lot? We just started school.”

Julian hadn’t told him about his plan of taking their relationship beyond closed bedroom doors and secret rendezvous. The impulsive jock had jumped into his plan alone, thinking this was more so a personal task.

“Julian?”

He placed his finger over the line he stopped at and let out a sigh. “It’s not worth a lot. It’s just, I really need to pass my classes this semester, Ezra.”

“You always pass your classes.”

“Yeah but with C’s.”

“And that’s suddenly a bad thing?” Ezra laughed. “You don’t need to overwork yourself.”

“I’m not.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Excuse me?”

“You practically _ran_ to the library the second school ended. You’ve been here an hour; yesterday you were here until they closed. You’re acting like Nishan during final exams.”

“ _Oh my god!_ ” Julian’s head felt heavy. “I’m sorry I’m focusing on something other than you for once!” he practically yelled. His words were sharp and pierced through Ezra like thorns. "But I thought you wanted the best for me! Are you that conceited that you need me around to praise your every move? I can't go one day without you prying into everything I decide to do!

The jock was breathing heavily, he was trying to calm himself. He had a tendency to get heated and lash out but since he’d transferred schools he’d learned to managed his anger problems. Sometimes he still saw red but it was usually on the football field. It’d been a while since he directed it towards family or a friend. Last time he yelled at Ezra they were still strangers.

They kept their eyes locked, brown eyes mixed with hurt and regret. Julian hadn’t mean to snap. He knew his boyfriend meant well and it wasn’t his fault he hadn’t told him about his promise.

“Alright,” Ezra put his hands up in surrender, “Grades are important. I didn’t mean to come off pushy. I get the message.” He pushed back and stood up.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Julian turned his seat and reached for Ezra’s arm but he stepped around his touch.

“It’s okay. Really,” the musician said as he grabbed his guitar and swung it over his shoulder. Unlike his old strap with silver rivets, this one had tiny white hearts. It’d been a birthday gift from Julian and Ezra would bring it to school because he loved the way Julian would playfully push him and tell him to stop when he referred to it as his good luck charm. But this time there was distance between the couple.

“It’s not okay,” Julian felt his heartbeat quicken, Ezra’s face was unreadable. “I, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m so sorry,” he tried to find the right words to fix things.

Ezra traced a heart with his index finger and nodded. He inched a step closer but Julian could see the caution in the movement. “Don’t feel bad,” he smiled, but it was an unconvincing one. “I was being persistent and you want to do your work. I understand. Don’t ever feel guilty for saying no to me.”

Julian closed his eyes when Ezra leaned down to press a tender kiss on his forehead. Any other day it would be reassuring but today it wasn’t enough to ease the jocks worries. When Ezra was about to step away, Julian grabbed the belt loops on his jeans and pulled. Ezra fell onto his lap, his guitar hitting Julian’s knees.

Before Ezra could ask why he’d done that he felt warm lips meet his. Ezra was caught off guard but melted into the kiss when Julian's hands moved under his guitar and found their place on the small of his back and on his neck. He closed his eyes and returned the kiss with as much desire. He placed a hand on Julian’s chest and felt his quickened heartbeat relax.

“I want to tell my parents about us,” Julian’s voice was a quivering whisper as he rested his forehead on Ezra’s. He’d had his eyes closed but when Ezra lifted his chin up and urged him to open them, he did.

There was an expression of shock and then, as though he’d connected the dots, empathy. “Is that why you’ve had your nose stuck in your books since the semester started?” Ezra asked.

“Yeah. I wanted to pick up my grades and really impress my parents before I went on telling them their son is,” Julian made a vague hand gesture, “You know…”

“Bi?”

Clenching his jaw, Julian averted his eyes and nodded. He liked Ezra, loved him even, but after all their time together he still wasn’t used to the label. “I’ve never even introduced them to a girlfriend. I don’t want them to hate you.”

“You don’t want them to hate _you_ ,” Ezra corrected.

About to say something, the librarian tapped on their shoulder and got their attention. She was a young woman, her hair a bright pink and tattoos on her arms and neck. There was an air of confidence around her and Ezra carefully slid off Julian’s lap and onto the empty chair besides them. “I’m sorry but this is a quiet work space,” she placed her hands on her hips in a power stance, “If you two are going to keep having a conversation I’m going to need for you to take it outside.”

“Sorry. My fault.” Ezra looked at Julian. “Um, we can talk about this later? You still have to do your work and I have to get ready for my shift at Wings Atomica.” He gave another apologetic glance towards the librarian as he got up and gave Julian a quick peck on the lips. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Julian looked after him.

The librarian nodded approvingly and went back to her front desk. She picked up a book and scanned the spine.

Julian slowly turned back to his textbook and to reading. He tried to focus but there came a point in his studying when he had to put his pen aside because Ezra’s words kept getting in the way. “Maybe he’s right,” Julian glanced at the time on his phone. It read 5:22 on a Thursday. The library would close in around half an hour and he figured leaving now wouldn’t be so bad. He picked up his belongings and tucked them in his backpack. On his was out the door he made sure to apologize once more to the librarian.

Outside the school was lively. Julian followed the path leading out the library building and towards the parking lot. He passed by the admissions office, The Dish, and some classrooms. There were prep, jock, and artist hangouts, as well as many more with students occupying them. They sat around, some in study groups and other chilling before heading home.

When Julian reached his car he pulled out his keys and unlocked the door to his red mustang. He threw his bag on the passenger seat and started the engine. He knew Ezra would be at work from 6 to 9 but he needed to talk to him. What happened in the library wasn’t just something that could be repaired with a kiss, they needed to sit down and actually talk about their emotions and how maybe Ezra was right. Maybe Julian wasn’t afraid of his parent disapproving of his boyfriend, but of them looking at him differently for having one.

Backing out the parking lot, Julian headed to Wings Atomica. There wasn’t much traffic on the way but when he got there the place was full. Julian barely managed to find a parking spot in the far back.

Unbuckling his seat belt, the boy stayed in his car for a bit. He listened to some music and tried to figure out what the next step would be. If he walked in now, Ezra would be at work. He couldn’t just barge in and pull him aside. Even with Wes as a friend and the assistant manager there was no way he’d let that slide. Would he? Julian was debating the possibilities when his door swung open.

“What are you- stop screaming, it’s just me- what are you doing here?”

Julian pressed a hand to his heart when he realized it was only Ezra. “Okay, one,” he took a deep breath, “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Got it.”

“And two, I came here to talk to you. But I thought you’d be inside by now so I was figuring things out.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. You parked besides me. I thought you saw me,” Ezra explained.

Julian looked over Ezra’s shoulder and noticed the familiar van. He hadn’t noticed it at all.

“Plus, my shift doesn’t start for another 20 minutes. I was figuring out the lyrics to a new song before you showed up.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

There was a pause and Julian drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “So about earlier…” he shifted in his spot.

“Want to sit in the back of my van and talk?” Ezra offered. When Julian nodded he pulled the car door further open and stepped aside.

The boys walked to Ezra’s van in silence. Ezra swung the back doors open and revealed a mattress that took up all the floor space. It was covered with a huge blanket and there were pillows spaced around. Posters of iconic musicians and bands covered the roof of the car and in the walls were speakers. The space was lit up with fairy lights that draped the interior and the back space of the van was separated from the front with beaded drapes. It was still a work in progress but it was comfortable. The couple liked to lay inside and have Ezra bring his guitar from the front to play music. He’d added the pillows for when Julian doze off.

“We should probably talk about what happened at the library,” Julian said as he hopped in. He crawled towards his usual spot and patted the space besides him.

Ezra followed, closing the doors to the van as he did. “Probably.”

“I think you might be right."

“That you’re overworking yourself or that the issue isn’t that you’re worried about your parents hating me, but that they’ll be disappointed with the fact that their son isn’t straight?”

“Uh, the latter?” Julian rubbed at his eyes, “Yeah. The latter.”

“Okay. Now, why didn’t you tell me you wanted to come out?” Ezra’s voice was light, very collected. He’d come out to his parents a long time ago, he knew how difficult it was and he didn’t understand why Julian would choose to go through it alone. Especially when he was there for support.

“Because I’m me. I guess I thought I could do it on my own. That I didn’t need to rely on someone else.”

“But I’m not someone else,” Ezra found Julian's hand and squeezed it. “I’m your boyfriend. And in order to make a relationship work there needs to be trust.”

“I know.”

“Then you understand that you should have trusted me with your plan? That you should of told me why you were so focused in school and homework, even cancelled our pre-work meetings. I’ve been through this before. You’re not the only one that had to come out because of this relationship.”

“I know that," Julian sighed. There was no way he'd ever forget the fact that because of him Ezra had to sit his parents down and tell them yes, the boy they saw him kissing was in fact Julian, and yes they were dating, but no that didn't automatically make him gay. "I guess I did kinda jump into it suddenly and without warning. But you know I didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”

“I bet you didn’t.”

“And I’m so sorry I yelled at you,” Julian added. He took the hand linked with Ezra’s and guided it over his waist. “I regretted it the moment I did.”

“Oh, yeah, that. You caught me off guard there. I don’t think I’ve ever had you yell at me that way before.”

“I know,” he buried his face in Ezra’s neck. They were laying down together and Julin had half his body on top of him.

“Hey,” Ezra kissed him on his shoulder, “Look at me.”

“I am,” Julian’s voice was muffled.

“Are you?” He waited until Julian halfheartedly moved and he was at eye level to keep speaking. “Listen, if you want to study to improve your grades, then I’m all for it. Do it. But don’t go doing it because you think it’s gong to magically make your parents be okay with us. Please, baby, don’t do that to me.”

Julian felt his heart race like it had earlier. For once Julian could see the hurt on Ezra’s face and it made him feel sick to think he was the cause of it.

“Because if things don’t work out even after you try, I don’t want to see you get hurt. It’s not your fault if your parents don’t approve. Some people are just like that. They don’t like others being different.”

“But I want them to say it’s okay!” Julian sounded like he was pleading.

“I know you do! We all want our parents approval. You think we like hearing our dad tell us they’re disappointed or our mom asking us where they went wrong? Those aren’t things a child should hear, but for some of us that’s what we get.”

“What do I do if they tell me they don’t love me?” Julian felt his cheeks heat up. His vision was getting blurry. “My mom thinks it’s a sin and my dad taught me how to throw a football. He, he thinks sports make you manly and the last time he saw two guys kiss he made the nastiest joke. He wants a son he can be proud of and I don’t think me being bi is going to do that. What if they kick me out? I don’t have anywhere to go, Ezra. I’m alone!”

“No, baby. No, you have me. I’m right here,” Ezra cooed. He wiped the tears from Julian’s cheeks with his thumb and pulled him in for a hug when they wouldn’t stop. “You have me and you have all your friends. Hell, even our school has resources! No matter what the response is we have your back. You hear that?”

“Mhm.”

“Plus, what if they don’t react negatively? All this is hypothetical. You won’t know until you do it.”

“Mhm.”

Ezra kept his embrace tight. He could feel his shirt grow wet from Julian’s tears but he didn’t let go. Not even when the stream of sorries came gushing from his boyfriend’s lips or the van’s doors were pulled open.

“Yo, your shift started a while ago and you didn’t pick up your phone,” Wes stood outside. His irritation quickly faded when he saw the tall frame tangled around Ezra and he heard the sound of sniffles. “Oh! Is, is everything okay?” he reeled back.

“Y-yeah,” Julian stripped himself from Ezra. He crawled to the opposite end of the van and used the palms of his hands to rub at his eyes. “Sorry, my fault. He was about to head in.”

Wes shared a worried exchange with Ezra. He didn’t know what was going on but he knew it had to be serious if it was enough to get Julian crying. “Listen, I didn’t see anything. You called in sick, you don’t have to come in today,” he offered.

“No!” Julian cut Ezra off before he could respond. “You don’t have to do that. He can go in. You can go in,” he assured him.

Ezra rubbed his shoulder and nodded. “I’ll go in.”

“If you’re sure. Take your time.”

“Yeah, um, 5 minutes?”

“5 minutes.” With that Wes carefully closed the twin doors and hurried back to work. Julian and Ezra sat in silence, their distance bothersome.

“You should probably go in. Sorry I-“ Ezra pulled him in and covered his mouth in a yearning kiss. Julian opened his mouth with a deep moan, his body being pushed into the mattress. He had Ezra on top and when they parted it was with a pant.

“I have to go to work,” Ezra placed a balancing hand on Julian’s stomach. “Come inside whenever you want? You can stay in here until you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Julian nodded. He popped up on his elbows and kissing his boyfriend again, this time hastily.

“I need to change though,” Ezra warned as he got up and crawled past the beaded drapes. He pulled over a bag with his uniform shirt and badge. Taking off his shirt, Ezra quickly swapped outfits. “Good?” he looked over at his boyfriend for approval.

“Good.”

“Great!” Opening the twin doors again, Ezra hopped out. He felt for his pocket and took out his car keys. He threw them at Julian to catch. “Lock up when you leave and please remember our conversation. No matter what happens now or in the future, you have my support.”

“Thanks, babe.” Julian's voice was still raw and it hurt to speak.

“I’m closing the doors now.”

“Okay,” he tiredly laughed. He had pink cheeks and puffy eyes. He’d probably be in the car for a while.

“I love you,” Ezra smiled before closing the doors. He jogged towards Wing Atomica, passing the front entrance and instead making it around back.

Julian was left alone in the van. The little fairy lights lighting the space for him. He leaned back on the mattress and let out a deep sigh. He was so grateful to have someone like Ezra at his side. He knew he was right. Whether Julian’s parents would come to approve of his sexuality wasn’t something that would depend on his grades or football. It was all a matter of character. And sure it was nerve wrecking and he would probably cry about it again later, but even if his parents meant the world to him he couldn’t go and change everything they didn’t like. Julian was his own person.

Julian was in love.

Julian was bisexual.

**Author's Note:**

> In Management Crisis Mia says "Sorry, Payton, but I think we’ve got a way to go before people start sending limos for us. I was hoping we could borrow your van again, Ezra." That's why in this fic Ezra is depicted owning a van. I took artistic liberty in describing the interior, but I hope you don't mind much.
> 
>  
> 
> Also the strap Julian gives Ezra is this one:  
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/a7/96/e5/a796e508a028e368157dc8ab3601b4ad.jpg


End file.
